So I thought it might be a good idea to start this blog out with some good old Christian lunacy, maybe some debunking of their more insane ideas. Should be easy, right?
It turns out I was wrong.
I figured I would just find myself some televangelists. Their job revolves around being insane, so I’d have something to write about in no time.
I found a show by Rod Parsley.
My first impression was that his voice was stunningly similar to Kermit the Frog, if a bit deeper. Everything seemed to be smooth sailing so far; I could probably write a decent amount about a muppet-voiced man who liked to talk about the bible.
Then he got out on stage with a microphone, surrounded by hordes of people. That’s where it got terrifying. He was shouting out paraphrased bible verses, and would occasionally become so caught up in the moment that his words would turn to inarticulate howls. Suddenly, he went up to a girl and turned his crazed screeching onto her. Then he pushed her to the floor. And she lay there. I later found out that this is an actual (albeit bizarre) thing, but that almost makes it weirder.
The horde of Christians then continued to grow louder and more bizarre, with the camera showing random people outright crying, despite the fact that the entire sermon so far had mostly just been shouted groans. The girl who had been knocked over finally stood back up after a quite a few minutes of laying there, and was promptly smacked down again by Rod. Rod then bludgeoned another man, all while his eyebrows danced around erratically to his strange shouted chanting. This continued on until the end of the show.
I really don’t know what I can make of all of this. The shouting, the pushing people over, the “everyone looking like they’re crying”…
I don’t know. It was probably the best display of mass hysteria I’ve ever seen, but past that I think that this level of lunacy far surpasses me.
It’s also made me worried about how easy it would be for someone to put hallucinogens in communion or something.
Just, ya know, something to consider.