Twilight Made Worse

Some things about the logic of Twilight:

You can’t have sex without blood flow.

Vampires have no naturally occurring blood (or other bodily fluids)

Vampires can get blood from their victims

Vampires could probably reroute that blood to their vampiric penises (which is a weird phrase to write!)

The sooper speshul Twilight vampires drink animal blood.

That obviously means that their vampenises are 50% animal  [citation needed]

That also obviously makes vampire sex bestiality.

In addition, as they have no bodily fluids whatsoever, Edward must cum that very same animal blood.

Man, this is just the BEST worst post to make after a blog post drought.

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