I’ve got quite a few pet peeves when it comes to LGBT issues. I hate the idea that gay men and gay women act and look certain ways. I hate it when people act like the possibility that someone is gay is either a disappointment or disgusting. I hate when people toss the words fag and dyke and tranny around like beads on Mardi Gras.
And I have those little hatreds. They mostly just make me roll my eyes, and sometimes make me correct people who set off those little peeves, but are otherwise small issues.
But then on top of that pile of peeves I’ve got a big damn berserk button. The trigger for that button, however, is rather small; a simple idea that can be compressed into a simple phrase:
“Bisexuals are HOT!”
If you’re like me, perhaps your head just exploded into a geyser of rage at being reminded of this. If not, allow me to explain.
There are women (and I’m sure men, but I have no experience being a male bisexual) who like to pretend to be bisexual. They are straight women. Solely interested in men.
They use my sexuality as a tool to attract men. Now of course, it’s not just my sexuality; it’s the sexuality of many people. Many people who face hatred, fear and discrimination for the crime of being attracted to the same sex.
And there are people who want to pretend to be attracted to the same sex. For attention. Do I have to spell out what is wrong with this? Why it’s so infuriating to see people trivialize all of the shit I have to go through just because I’m not heterosexual? To see people choose to be bisexual for something as petty as special attention, as if sexuality is a choice and the sexuality in question is nothing more than a fetish?
There’s even more nuance to why this is such a rage-trigger for me. Why the hell does a woman being bisexual make them more sexually attractive? It seems that it’s the same reason so many people like to spout things like “LESBIANS ARE HOT!!!”, which also holds a special place in the anger-chamber of my heart. Because, you know, ONE woman is hot, but TWO? And they’re having sex with eachother?! It’s like some sort of two for one deal of sexual objectification; But with purely homosexual lesbians, you get a problem- they’re not going to want to have sex with a guy.
But bisexuals? They’re just lesbians that’ll let you watch them be gay, and then be straight with you! Win-win! You might even get to have a threesome with them!
Sweet evil jesus the rage.
I have so many problems with this. The people who think homosexuality is gross, unless it’s women and then it’s hot. The people who think that just because a woman is gay, she’ll let you watch her have sex with her girlfriend, and if she’s bisexual, she’ll let you join in. As if there’s no such thing as being bisexual and monogamous.
And the biggest problem is when someone graced with the privilege of heterosexuality decides to forgo that privilege, just so they can reinforce those stereotypes.
Being gay is hard. Being bisexual is harder. There are people who think that being bisexual only makes you half gay. There are people who think that bisexuals just can’t make up their mind. Thanks to people pretending to be bisexual, people even get to assume that you’re a fake bisexual too.
And these people are LGBT. Not churches with signs declaring that God hates fags, not people who think that homosexuality causes terrorism, or think that man on man sex leads to man on dog sex. LGBT people.
Being bisexual is hard, and there are people who do it for fun.
It’s like dressing in blackface in the early 1900s, because it sounds like fun. Its like pretending to be a woman to take advantage of female privilege that doesn’t exist.
It’s insulting, it’s wrong, and it makes me want to boil a kitten in a pot of rage.