Category Archives: Cats

I don’t think I can read today

Well, no, I can.

Just at a limit of, say, 5 words. At a time. And when I read a new word the last one in the queue gets shoved off.

I have a lot of work that involves reading to do today.

Other things I can’t do;

Type. Okay, I can, but wow are the typos flowing thick and fast

Balance. It is for the grace of hand rails that I haven’t fallen off the stairs yet. I have learned that my clinging ability is unimpaired thanks to this. Seriously, though, legs. “Walking up the stairs” is not the time to decide that muscle tone is really an optional thing.

List things.

Also I am constantly starving and constantly eating. And constantly moving around despite hardly being able to do so.

Also I feel like those people on Doctor Who who got their faces sucked off by the Wire.’

I got myself some goldfish to make myself feel better but while I was typing this my cat started to eat them. Now I can’t eat them.

Yelling at the cat is apparently too strenuous an activity.

How am I typing.

Do I have to be a productive member of society? Can’t I just kind of take a day off from reality and get better before having obligations?

UPDATE: I’m going to start updating this post every time I decide to rant on this more.

So  here’s a timeline of when right after my cat ate my goldfish:

Read more of this post

I have acquired babies! Oh, and CATURDAY

So I’m at Hobby Lobby looking for glittery pink yarn so that I can crochet a uterus and send it to a male representative, right?

Right.

And what do I find as I wander aimlessly through the aisles?

BABIES.

Little plastic babies.

The most important ingredient to my abortion cake, which I’d been putting off making because babies are so hard to find!

But now I’ve found them, while looking for the stuff to crochet a uterus with. If fate/gods/etc. were actual things, this would totally be proof that they love both irony and abortions.

Anyways I forgot to take a picture of the packaging, which is a shame, because the brand seemed to be “Bag of Chips”, and that’s a pretty wonderful thing to see on a bag of babies.

But in lieu of that, here’s a picture of my cat covered in little babies:

This is why you should always spay and neuter your pets.

Illustrating my belief that unwanted babies are essentially just glorified parasites.

Judging by her expression, she agrees!

Fetuses are probably pretty high in protein!

She also seems to think that babies make for good eatings.

She’d make a good Atheist, if that was even a thing that cats could be. Pretty sure there’s no point behind having cat Atheists when you don’t cat Theists.

Though there are catlicks, so maybe…?

Anyways, I’ll get a post up on how to make abortion cakes soon! Probably tomorrow. It’ll be delicious.

Obscure cats

So I’ve noticed something.

Anytime somebody wants to make an obscure science joke, they seem to usually reference Schrödinger’s Cat. Now, I can understand why it’s the go-to material for a joke- essentially anybody who has it described to them can understand it, but at the same time it’s a concept from quantum mechanics. This means that while the only qualification for understanding this concept is having found the wikipedia page, you’re still able to make jokes about it loudly in public and when people don’t understand it, respond with “Oh don’t worry about it, it was an obscure  reference to quantum physics, so most people don’t understand it.” It’s basically an easy way to make yourself seem smart pretentious, while not forcing you to actually understand the experiment past “if you look away from a cat, well gee, that fucker could very well be dead. But not dead. At the same time.

But that’s not the problem here. The problem is that this is turning into the obscure reference. You can find it on a multitude of different webcomics, for one, many of which I didn’t link because hell, Schrödinger references have their own wikipedia page. Now I’m not saying it’s wrong to make Schrödinger jokes or anything, because that would be stupid. Making jokes about it (or anything) for the sake of sounding smart is, but that’s a whole different problem.

This problem is that we now have a popular obscure joke. The joke, for the most part, comes from how it’s supposed to be obscure and something most people won’t understand

But if it’s a popular reference, then it can’t be obscure, and therefore there’s not really a joke.

So it goes something like this: Either “obscure Schrödinger” jokes are popular, rendering them not obscure. Thus, there is no joke. But if there is no joke, then it most certainly can’t be popular and is once again obscure, making the joke exist again. But if it’s a joke, then it’s suddenly popular and no longer obscure, and if it’s popular… etc. ad infinitum.

In a simpler form, Obscurity = Popularity = Non-obscurity = Non-popularity = Obscurity, in an endless cycle that is all happening at the same time. So all at once, a Schrödinger reference is both obscure and not obscure at the same time, meaning that a Schrödinger joke is simultaneously a joke and not a joke.

Essentially, an affinity towards obscure references in popular culture has created Schrödinger’s Schrödinger joke.